There comes a time in every man's life when he must learn the difference between I'm Not Really A Waitress and Mango Mango. It's a rite of passage, nearly as monumental as the purchase of one's first pair of thongderwear, to comfortably and heterosexually house one's long duck dong. Right?
BZZZT! Wrong.
Tanner P, you saucy little minx. You nearly had me convinced you were a bonafide, foot fetishing freak. I feared you might get down on one knee and propose, just so you could get a closer look at Jillian's high arches. I was almost convinced, that is, until I heard two words fall from your Cher-karaoke-is-my-favorite lips: Mango Mango.
Yes. Mango Mango is a real nail color, brought to us by the crafty mofos at L'Oreal.
I'm convinced that L'Oreal paid for product placement on The Bachelorette & that Tanner's "foot fetish" was scripted from the get go. How on earth would he have survived six episodes without some sort of arrangement, let alone, be invited to a) Touch or B) Rub lotion on Jillian's feet, whenever he was granted some solo time? Can't help but wonder if the plug was worth the money.
Whenever I think of Mango Mango, I now think of the gay guy on The Bachelorette who nearly broke into song when he realized Jillian didn't have corns, bunions or hammertoes. I also think of Chris Kattan in short shorts. If Mango Mango attracts the Tanner P's of the world, I'll stick with my clear polish pedi.
