I'm a few days behind with my Bachelorette recap for the (June 13th episode) and the guilts are starting to gnaw at me. Let's cut right to the chase and talk about the bright spots from this week's rainy Thailand episode.
A lot of the Bachelorette-obsessed Twitter folk I follow started a "Bentley" drinking game. Had I played along, I would have passed out before The Geico Caveman Ben F snuck in his first sloppy Cro-Magnum man kiss. I would have missed the gay picnic with Ames and would have forgotten all about the "shocking preview" related to Bentley's inevitable return next week. I counted more than 13 mentions of Bentley by Ashley in total. That's a whole lot of tequila. Twitterati, I have no idea how you kept up, unless you were doing shots of sparkling apple juice.
My favorite date, by far, was Ashley's one-on-one picnic with Ames. Like two girlfriends making God's Eyes at Jesus Camp, he felt they really bonded and had a lot in common. Ashley remarked that she got to see Ames in a whole new light. Is it just me, or was that light ever-so-gently muted by a blush chiffon scarf? Ames belongs in Wham's Club Tropicana video, he does not belong in a seaside fishing village wearing Prada military button downs. I know it's Don't Ask, Don't Tell, but his Prada told. One obvious perk to dates with Ames. Should the village lose electricity in the rainstorm, he could illuminate a few square miles with those choppers. You'll never lose your way in the dark.
Looks like Bentley will be back next episode. This Jersey Girl called it weeks back. While I believe he's an actor who has been planted this season and scripted, I'm not 100% sure that Ashley is in on it. If she wasn't prepped, it's a very cruel twist in a ploy for viewership. While I agree that most of the men are complete duds this season, is a Bentley dupe the only answer? Must we see him return to feign a change of heart, endure more of his private camera confessions, just to set Ashely up for the ultimate betrayal? Certainly there are other things to keep us interested. We haven't had a token zipline, building rappel or a bungee jump yet. There's plenty of time left to swim with sharks. The masked Jeff could return, this time wearing only a cape. Yet at the rate we're going, we'll likely wind up with gay Ames (who will now be referred to solely as Games) and Bentley in the final two.
I wonder if Games will reveal his sexuality at some point? I think he'll make it as far as the Fantasy Suite date, where he'll confess his true affection for Chris Harrison. Unable to avert his eyes from Harrison in a grass-woven sarong, spear fishing for carp, or while donning his suggestive banana hammock poolside, he'll say he needs to leave in order to pursue his true calling. Cosmetic Dentistry. In Games' ABC bio, he was asked what his most embarrassing moment was. His answer? Getting busted in boarding school for hooking up. I wonder if he went to an all boys school? Mmmm Hmmm. I think he sings for The Warblers.
Bentley will make it all the way to the final days, mark my words, but not before Michelle Money is shipped to Thailand to intervene - revealing even more secret Bentley modus operandi. What's the real scoop on Bentley? Anyone who names their kid Cozy really likes a cold beer. Maybe he's prone to drunken outbursts or contracted a raging case of Chlamydia from a Koala? All shall be revealed in time.
