It's raining in Minneapolis and my sloth-like lethargy is at an all-time high. Wifey is studying as I type, listening to lectures from down under and generally ignoring me for the sake of her higher education.
Things I've accomplished today:
Prepared a broccoli, cheese & veggie sausage omelet for brunch
Watched a documentary about conjoined twins on my computer
Showered at approximately 2PM
Ventured out for coffee
Decided where I'd like to stay in Santorini, should I ever get to Greece. Decided that a fantasy suite with infinity pool is a must.
Thought about going to the gym. Twice.
This brings me to my topic du jour. Kids who make me feel like a lazy, good for nothing slacker. Anamika Veerami, a 14 year old wonder girl from Ohio, won the Scripps National Spelling Bee yesterday. She's a 14-year-old overachiever who likes to study in her free time, which can sometimes total up to 16 hours a day. When not sleeping, eating or studying, she likes to envision her future at Harvard and her career as a cardiovascular surgeon. Was it just me, or did Anamika look like she wasn't having much fun? If you're not experiencing this kid of emotion on the brink of victory, then something's not quite kosher.
What the hell is wrong with kids these days?
I've had it up to here with all of this lofty goal setting and achieving your wildest dreams hooey. What ever happened to the joy of eating paste or plotting the loss of your virginity? When I was 13, I spent hours trying to cut and roll the perfect pair of jean shorts, just so I could bump and grind just like Baby Houseman. I may not be a Rhodes Scholar, but I can carry a watermelon with the best of them.
I guess kids have more important things to think about these days. Things like how to survive a rogue wave in a teeny-bopper powered sailboat off of Cape Horn. Thank you, 20/20, for making me feel even more like a lazy sod. So 16 year-olds are now sailing around the world and 13 year-olds are climbing Everest. Don't kids play with Ouija boards anymore? Make their own bongs out of apples? Sneak out of the house in the middle of the night to make out with the neighbor kid up the block? I hate to break it to you, but Doogie Howser MD was a tv show, kids. It's not advised to actually try these things at home. No one likes a show off.
If your best friend's name is Merriam Webster, you need an intervention. Do something kid-like. Go steal some nail polish from CVS or ring doorbells and run. Swoon over Justin Bieber a bit and then go make some macaroni art. All of this kid-complishment makes me sluggish. Consider yourselves forewarned, children. Use flashcards at your own risk.