I'm in NY and NJ again. Back to the homeland! When did it become July in April? No one told me about this. Fact: No one likes a girl with a sweaty upper lip. Mmmmm, sexy. I'd like spring to return please. The Polar Bears and I are a little put out.
I'm here to see a well-known CPG company to peddle my goods. Added a few days tacked on at the end to spend some quality time with my fam, little bro, my sister-in-law and their adorable kidlets. For the three of you who read this blog who don't know me in real life; I do have a day job. I sell Facebook & mobile app development, strategy & sponsorships. When not working from home, braless, sporting Nick Nolte on a bender hair, I can be found (showered & smashing) with my loyal sidekick (aka, business partner Chris) plotting to take over the world, one deal at a time.
Traveling under my own steam, without the bankroll of a big corporate travel budget, can be highly entertaining. Gone are the days of The Driskill Hotel (and their Gingersnap Pancakes, RIP) while staying in Austin for SXSWi. Until the new company is sustainable, I will crash in my 4 year-old-nephew's bunk bed in Carroll Gardens or at other gems like The Hampton Inn, Giants Stadium (which, incidentally, smells a lot like cow manure). I prefer the bunk bed in Brooklyn. A special shout out to Ikea, who has made a very sturdy piece of kid furniture, suitable for a 35-year old who is fond of penne ala vodka and the occasional rice krispy treat binge. The first time I climbed the bädd's mini ladder, I was sure the entire thing would come tumbling down. I'd land on top of the GeoTrax Village and the Pixar Cars collection. Oofta. I'm glad my brother is handy.
The Ginbomb drove me to the big meeting on Tuesday morning. Picked me up in her green Subaru so I wouldn't have to rent a car, and off we went to Wheat Thin Falls. There are several things I enjoy about bring your mom to work day.
#1 - Howard Stern is on her satellite radio all day long. While I cannot call myself a superfan, I do enjoy watching my mom get hysterical over the questions he asks his guests. During our 40 minute ride, I learned far more about Tiger Woods' mistresses than I thought possible. I also learned that my mom knows every character on his show. She's like Rain Man when it comes to Howard Stern. High Pitch Erik, Underdog Lady, Artie, Baba Booey. Dear Artie: Ginny sincerely hopes you make a full recovery. She's read your book and thinks you had a rough childhood. He really doesn't hold back, that Howard. On this particular episode, Howard kept asking Robin if she'd let Martina Navratilova perform various sexual acts on her. I realize this is why it's become increasingly more difficult to shock and surprise the ginbomb. She's heard it all. I actually think it's time for a new Howard Stern character: Jersey Ginny.
The man at the front desk at Snackville asked if my mom would be joining me in the meeting, and if so, he'd need her photo ID. I was tempted to invite her in to observe, but then again, she had her NY Post and was eagerly awaiting the opening of the corporate store, where all niblets were 50% off. This brings me to #2 on my list.
Shopping for food at a deep discount with someone who lives for a good bargain.
I felt like I was strolling Wonka's chocolate factory with Violet Beauregard. The only hiccup, trying to calculate how long we could keep veggie burgers in suspended animation before they reached the point of no return. Ginny thought it too risky and lamented the fact that we did not think to bring a cooler. That's not normally at the top of my checklist before heading to the airport, but next time I promised we'd plan ahead. Thank god for the non-perishables. A few chocolate bars, crackers, snack bars, nuts and drink mixes later, Violet was in heaven.
My mom may not fully understand what I do for a living, but she does understand shopping and watching Dancing With The Stars together. Every time Kate Gosselin dances, Baby Jesus cries. Ginny's a woman who enjoys her perks (be it Wheat Thins for a dollar, a 50 cent pair of Coach butterscotch loafers or fair judging from Bruno). While I'm making the transition from employee to business owner, I thought I'd miss some of the perks of corporate life, but I don't. My last company didn't have a take your mom to work day. I think they're missing out. We could all benefit from a little drive-thru Dunkin Donuts, The NY Post at breakfast and a detailed sexual history of Tiger Woods' mistresses from time to time. I won't lie. It's always nice to hear (insert jersey accent here) you look dynamite in that suit. Knock em' dead, kiddo.