I was browsing around on Zappos last night, searching for the perfect pair of shoes to wear with my new suit, when I came across a shoe that made me stop cold in my tracks. Transfixed by its near penis-like reflection, I found it more and more difficult to get the dreadful Bloch shoe out of my mind. I then had a nightmare that I woke on Christmas morning to find my stocking overflowing with these wretched looking things ...
What is the mysterious Bloch woman like? Where does she live? Does she bathe? Is she still a virgin at 87? And more importantly, why don't her friends stop her from going out of the house wearing these puffy phallic footies?
After consulting with Y as to whether or not these shoes were indeed a little granny after too much eggnog, she concurred. She also pointed out that the name "Jazzsoft" should have tipped me off to the fact that these are, um, dancing shoes. Who knew? I didn't see Marlee scooting around the dance floor in these fuglies when she was on Dancing With The Stars.
During my fruitless quest for new kicks, I also came across these gems, which I now refer to as MWN. My Worst Nightmare.
For only $692, you too can own a pair of Alejandro Ingelmo General Zod shoes.
Here we have something that the Abominable Snowman might wear. In San Juan. On a chilly night. With a jean jacket and matching jeans.
Alas, my aforementioned quest for the perfect shoe continues. Will keep you posted on any new & exciting developments.